STEEL DICK STEEL DICK STEEL DICK

okay folks
i've been out for some time
and i recently remembered that i read this myth
about a chick having
a full-on second jaw in her downstairs department
so i went to look it up on google
and holy shit 
do you know how many chicks have teeth in their vaginas all over the world?
a whole fuckin lot
and if you wanna look it up
the term is "vagina dentata"
but i propose a much better title
dick muncher 1000 b.c

so this myth starts with a demon
and the demon is like
wow let's do some demon-y things
hey, chick-
you get a second set of teeth
IN YOU VAGINA
and the chick is like
lol ok
 and she's okay
but on her wedding night
just as she starts getting it on with her husband
she realizes her vagina
bit off the guy's dick
and let's face it-
that is not exactly a good way to start your marriage
so you know
that doesn't work out

so she marries another guy
which she thinks will be okay with
and who won't mind
getting castrated by a
T  O  O  T  H  Y    V  A  G  I  N  A
so one their wedding night
her vagina goes
OH MAN DICK TIME
NOM NOM NOM
and her unfortunate husband
is left without a dick
and for the second time
it does not work out

so the chick is pissed
because she can't get it on
with ANYONE because
if it's a dude
off with his fucking dick, man
if it's a chick?
well a pussy might actually get someone's tongue this time

so she goes to this smith guy
even though i don't know why is she going to a smith for
vagina problems
but okay
and the smith makes this
steel
dick
yeah you've heard it
a DILDO OF STEEL
and so the chick shoves it up there
and breaks the demon teeth

and i guess
message of the story is
everything's swell that ends
with someone inserting a dildo in themselves