how to get popular? try genocide

so
when i made this blog i promised myself this
no pantheon will be spared
so
the time has come for me to fuck around with the egyptian pantheon

so,
you have this guy
ra
he's this super cool sun god
but he's sad
because no one is worshiping him
and everyone is worshiping the asshole snake god
apep
and ra is super depressed
and is like
but i'm super cool and i am a sun god
why does no one like me

so he goes to sekhmet
who is a warrior goddess
and starts crying to her like
sekhmet no one likes me
could you please go down to earth and kill some humans
and make them see how great i am
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee
and sekhmet is like
i heard the word kill
i'm in
i'm in like a motherfucker
so she goes down to earth
and starts killing a bunch
stabbing people
chopping things up
and all the humans are already crying to ra
about how awesome he is
so sekhmet is satisfied
because ra is now happy and she killed a bunch
and there's a lot of blood everywhere
and she thinks
might as well drink something now
because murder makes you thirsty
so she starts drinking all the blood
and goes batshit fucking insane
pulling a kali
and starts murdering  more people
drinking their blood
and then murdering more
drinking their blood
and then murdering EVEN MORE
so all the sudden ra is like
oh shit i've done fucked up
and mixes an epic cocktail from ocher and beer
and pours it in the blood
and after sekhmet drinks this
she falls asleep
and the world is safe again

so
time for the message of the story
if you want to be popular
ask someone to murder a bunch
and then if they get extremely shitfaced
and are too drunk to do anything but murder
try getting them more drunk
and hope they fall asleep afterwards