so, folks
i'm gonna tell you a story
more of a tutorial
about how to get cool shit without having to do anything
(yourself, at least)
so, you have this guy, odin
you know the super cool norse god of
death, war, wisdom-all the good shit
and poetry for some reason
and as you might know
he knows how to make a good deal
and this is the story of how he got a guy to make a wall for him
so, asgard is built
ymir's cerebrum is floating in the air
but the gods have a problem
they don't have a wall around the cool castle
but they don't really think of doing anything about that
until
this dude randomly approaches odin and is like
hey odin,
my sweet dude
do you need a wall?
and odin is like
yeah, dude, totally
and the giant is like
well i can build you one sweetass wall in less than a year
so odin's like
that's bullshit, dude
and the dude is like
wanna bet?
and odin is like
yeah you bet your sweet ass i wanna bet
and the giant is like
okay
okay
i'll build you a wall in less than a year
but you gotta give me the sun, the moon and freya
and odin is like
well, i don't see the problem with whoring out freya so
this is on like a motherfucker
so the next day the dude comes with this cool horse
svadlifari
and this cool horse doesn't only lift rocks for the dude
but starts building the whole fucking wall
the gods are like lol whatever
UNTIL
it's like two days before the deadline and they realize they're screwed to all hel
so you know what gods do when they're in need for someone to solve their problems
they grab loki
threaten him with torture and death
and then send him off to solve the problem
and in general loki's solutions are vaguely normal
(i mean as much normal as tying his balls to a goat or crossdressing on various occasions can be)
but this time
i'm gonna tell you a story
more of a tutorial
about how to get cool shit without having to do anything
(yourself, at least)
so, you have this guy, odin
you know the super cool norse god of
death, war, wisdom-all the good shit
and poetry for some reason
and as you might know
he knows how to make a good deal
and this is the story of how he got a guy to make a wall for him
so, asgard is built
ymir's cerebrum is floating in the air
but the gods have a problem
they don't have a wall around the cool castle
but they don't really think of doing anything about that
until
this dude randomly approaches odin and is like
hey odin,
my sweet dude
do you need a wall?
and odin is like
yeah, dude, totally
and the giant is like
well i can build you one sweetass wall in less than a year
so odin's like
that's bullshit, dude
and the dude is like
wanna bet?
and odin is like
yeah you bet your sweet ass i wanna bet
and the giant is like
okay
okay
i'll build you a wall in less than a year
but you gotta give me the sun, the moon and freya
and odin is like
well, i don't see the problem with whoring out freya so
this is on like a motherfucker
so the next day the dude comes with this cool horse
svadlifari
and this cool horse doesn't only lift rocks for the dude
but starts building the whole fucking wall
the gods are like lol whatever
UNTIL
it's like two days before the deadline and they realize they're screwed to all hel
so you know what gods do when they're in need for someone to solve their problems
they grab loki
threaten him with torture and death
and then send him off to solve the problem
and in general loki's solutions are vaguely normal
(i mean as much normal as tying his balls to a goat or crossdressing on various occasions can be)
but this time
what the actual fuck
so
loki
decides to turn into a mare
and go seduce svadlifari
which actually works pretty well
so the dude can't finish the wall properly
loses the bet
and fucks off angrily
and after twelve months loki chimes in with a baby spiderhorse
which becomes odins ride
sleipnir
so
message of the story
why whore out freya for a wall
when you can whore out loki and get both a wall
AND a sweet ride
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