every single version of cinderella but this one can get the hell out

anyway, i watched a several episodes of this cartoon
and i can tell you something
THE NON-HUNGARIAN VERSIONS OF CINDERELLA CAN
SUCK
ME
OFF
because im gonna tell you

THE BIGGEST

THE BADDEST

VERSION OF THE TALE
SO GRAB YOUR CUNTING BAGS MOTHERFUCKER
AND LETS GET THIS DONE

okay so you have this old widowed man,
he has a pretty daughter,
and the guy naturally marries a broad
with two equally broad daughters

and everything is nice
but the father dies
and cinderella is well fucked at this point

so one sunday

while she and her daughters are going to church
the old hag pours a bowl of ashes and a bowl of green peas and mixes them on the floor
and says cinderella to pick apart the ashes and the peas and cook them before her and her bitch daughters come home
or they'll beat her dead or something

WHATEVER

so they go to the church, and cinderella stays at home,
picking the peas, crying or something
when all the sudden comes forth god(of all people) with his angels
(and honestly why do you need a fairy god mother when you have the g-man on your side) 
and says something like
"HEY, child, yo mom sent me here have some NUTS"
 and so he gives her three walnuts
and in each walnut there's a dress-a golden dress, a silver dress and a diamond dress
and god says
"CHILD; my angels will pick up the peas, go get some with the prince,
but when the priest raises the cup, get the fuck outta there"
and then cinderella puts on the silver dress and runs to the church
and sits row near the prince and idk probably eyefucks him through the whole deal,
 but when the priest raises the cup she runs the fuck away home

and so the stepmother and the sisters come back home
and are like
FUCK THIS BEAUTIFUL BITCH FROM THE CHURCH
oh i saw her
says cinderella
WHERE
from the tree
so the rest of the family cuts down the tree bc
fuck cinderella i guess

and the same thing happens next week,
but this time it's lentils
and then god comes with the angles
yadda yadda
she wears the golden dress
eyefucking,
the cup,
oh shit come home

but when the step-mother/daughters come home,
the step-sisters bitch about how they saw this gorgeous lady prancing around the church and shit
and then cinderella is like
ya i saw her too
the stepsisters are like
BITCH WHERE
from the well
so they tear it down

anyway, same thing happens next sunday
but the stepmother gives cinderella flour and ash
and cinderella wears the diamond dress
yadda yadda
church
eyefucking
but this time cinderella forgets one of her slippers
anyway
her stepfamily comes home
bitching about the pretty lady in church
i saw them
BITCH FROM WHERE
the house roof
they tear it down

prince comes though the whole kingdom
looking for a woman of specific feet size
so the old hag hides cinderella under a tub

so when the prince comes the two sisters are fat fucks with canckles probably
so the cant wear the shoes for shit

but all the sudden the rooster goes batshit crazy
and screams about where cinderella is
so the prince finds cinderella
they live happily ever after
and the stepfamily is fucked

so, the message is
who needs fairy godmothers when you have god on your side

yeah